Best Bad Reviews – Part 3

thumbs_down Before I review any series, I like to see what other readers are thinking about in relation to the individual books within the series, so I read their reviews. Well not all books within a series are well liked and occasionally I come across some really good negative reviews that I can’t keep from laughing out loud or at least smile about, so I thought I would share a few of them with you too.  As the poet John Lydgate would say, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.

Juliet-Camille review on Goodreads of Erin Hart’s Haunted Ground puts a new spin on the term ‘bored to death‘.

I would have liked this much better if it focused more on the dead body, and less on the living characters.

Mary Berger from Goodreads gave her review of Patricia Cornwell’s Flesh and Blood.  Now don’t hold back Mary!

When I say I couldn’t put this book down, I mean I couldn’t put it down fast enough.

When most people write a review on a book, they discuss how well they liked the plot, the characters, etc, but an Amazon Customer gave Patricia Cornwell’s novel Dust a poor rating because he/she had a bigger problem or should I say ‘smaller’ problem with the novel

This book was published in November 2013. The copy I received was not one of the original size, it was a smaller version. I was surprised because no where in the description was it written that this book was 8 1/2 x 6 instead of 9 1/2 x 6 1/2. The book itself is in very good condition just not the standard size.

Jennie from Goodreads told us her feelings on Aaron Elkin’s love scene from Fellowship of Fear.  Yes, Jennie, luckily for us Gideon got married, so the series does improve.

Blech. A good, wise friend warned me that this book wasn’t necessarily a good one, but the series gets better. She was definitely right about the first part. I might test her on the second part when I get over the moment when I decided to throw this one across the room:

Come on, tell Papa,” Gideon said, his naked skin jumping where her long hair lay over it.
“Well…just…take me, I’m yours.” She raised her eyes to his. “If you want me.

Aaaaand, hurl.

Sophie Huston from Goodreads gave her impression of Jefferson Bass’ novel The Inquisitor’s Key.  Go Fonzie!

Hmm. I think the authors have jumped the shark a wee bit with this one …

Image from Wikipedia
Image from Wikipedia

Stormy from Goodreads left this review of Scott Sigler’s novel Infected.  What an obedient husband, so how did you come up with a 3-star rating?

My wife asked me to put this on her goodreads. So here it is.

Catfantastic on Goodreads reviewed Scott Sigler’s novel Pandemic.  Things must be pretty bad if you are rooting for the bad guy.

I didn’t like any of these characters. I didn’t enjoy spending time in their heads. I didn’t care about what they were doing or which calibre they were doing it with. By the end of the trilogy, I caught myself thinking that if this was all there was to Sigler’s version of humanity, maybe the aliens deserved to win.

Charlie from Goodreads gave a one star rating on Daniel Suarez’s novel Daemon.  Ladies you have been warned!

You need the following requisites to enjoy this book:

-Computer literate
-Internet/Network literate
-Computer gaming literate
-Love First Person Shooters
-Think the movie “Hackers” w/Angelina Jolie was good movie
-Bought MW3 or Battlefield 3
-A penis

Kurt from Goodreads gave a poor review on Relic by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child.  There are two ways you can think about this.

I hereby declare this “Excellent Commode Literature.

toilet and paper
Images from Wikipedia and Wikimedia Commons

Brenda Mihalik on Amazon gave Kathy Reichs’ novel Bones Never Lie a one star rating even though she never read the book.

Another great book that I won’t be able to read. The price is way past what I can afford on my husband’s retirement. Maybe I’ll see it in a library somewhere.

Elaine Helms on Goodreads gave Kathy Reichs’ Bones Never Lie a three star rating though she would have preferred to give a two star rating and her reasoning is:

I am giving you an extra star, Temperance, because you somehow managed to avoid being knocked unconscious yet again.

Image from WIkipedia
Image from WIkipedia

If you come across any interesting bad reviews on thrillers let me know and I can add it to the list. 

2 thoughts on “Best Bad Reviews – Part 3

  1. Here an Amazon review for you for The Land of Painted Caves by Jean Auel. It is from a FAN of the series).

    “Your book is some 700 pages long. I mean, OK, it makes it easier to fantasise about using it to bludgeon the characters to death for criminal idiocy once we reach Part 3, but your book only has maybe 100 pages worth of actual plot, so I’m kind of left wondering if you actually had an editor for this thing, and if so, whether they’re now spending their unemployment check on hard liquor to help drown the shame.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s