Best Bad Reviews – Part 5

thumbs_down Before I review any series, I like to see what other readers are thinking about in relation to the individual books within the series, so I read their reviews. Well not all books within a series are well liked and occasionally I come across some really good negative reviews that I can’t keep from laughing out loud or at least smile about, so I thought I would share a few of them with you too.  As the poet John Lydgate would say, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.


Anthony Ho’s review on Amazon of Jeff Lindsay’s Dexter is Dead

This is Dull Disappointing Dexter that Doesn’t Deliver Delight.


Dianne from Amazon on Kathy Reichs’ Speaking in Bones. Yes Dianne, Temperance does seem to have a little problem.

Spoiler alert: If the main character gets one more concussion, I’m sure that a traumatic brain injury is in her future.


Erin from Goodreads gave Jeffery Deaver’s The Bone Collector a one star rating.

Boring. This is supposed to be a murder mystery novel and as such should clip along at a pretty good pace. I got 150 pages in and gave up.

This was a Reader’s Choice at my library. I have hated every single Reader’s Choice, this might be a clue that I need to stop reading them!

award


Mike Klemundt from Goodreads gave Jeff Lindsay’s Darkly Dreaming Dexter a one star rating.  If one is going to criticize college graduates for poor writing skills, then it is best to use ‘absolutely’ good spelling and not ‘stray’ on your grammar.

Jeff Lindsay has absolulety no writing talent, whatsoever. In fact, stay stray from any of his novel, he is another snub college graduate with little to no experience in his field.


Meghan from Goodreads gave Tess Gerritsen’s novel The Surgeon a two star rating.

I almost forgot! I intensely dislike books with blank pages in between each chapter. Aside from the fact that is a serious waste of paper, the only real purpose I see is to truly separate the chapters. To force the reader to digest one chapter before plowing headfirst into the next. I find this slightly insulting. As ifI am unable to control my reading habits and need you to step in and stop me. Or as if my eyes might stray from reading the backside of one page and greedily begin reading the next page and spoil whatever mini-cliffhanger the chapter ended with. So, from the paper wasting standpoint, eBooks make the blank page presentation slightly less offensive. But frankly, they are a pain in the back side. Unlike a real book where two pages are presented to the reader at once and they will read the left side, then move to the right, an eBook only presents one page at a time. So, If page 1 ends with a cliffhanger, it isn’t until I press the button that I see the next page. But, with the blank-page-between-each-chapter-books instead of taking me to the next chapter, there is an entirely blank screen, which never fails to make my brain think “what’s going on? Did my battery die?” and then have to click next page again. My point is, blank pages are dumb…quit it.

blank_page
To make your life a living hell!

In 2013 SKD from Amazon left this two star review of Patricia Cornwell’s novel Postmortem which was written in 1990.   Don’t you hate it when writers can’t predict the future.

There is a lot of detail regarding computer and DNA technology, which is now outdated. Unfortunately I couldn’t get past that.


ComputerUser on Amazon reviewed Daniel Suarez’s novel Daemon and gave it a one star rating.  I guess ComputerUser didn’t know that Suarez and Amazon are in cahoots to make everyone’s lives miserable.

Like the book a LOT but gave this ONE star because I cannot loan to a friend , like 99.9% of the other kindle books I have BOUGHT and OWN !How funning Daniel Suarez writes two novels about personal freedom for over 1000 pages, but then limits my personal freedom to loan a property I own to someone for 14 days via kindle loan. The IRONY and HYPOCRISY of this is AMAZING !


Leah Tchack from Amazon review of Karin Slaughter’s The Blindsighted.

This book is so bad I can hardly believe it. Nothing in it is credible, and the gore and sex are overdone. All the characters are mad at one another and yelling all the time. And the “brilliant” physician/heroine keeps Kool-Aid in her refrigerator. I kid you not.

Kool-aid
Wikimedia Common

If you come across any interesting bad reviews on thrillers let me know and I can add it to the list. 

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