Best Bad Reviews – Part 4

thumbs_down Before I review any series, I like to see what other readers are thinking about in relation to the individual books within the series, so I read their reviews. Well not all books within a series are well liked and occasionally I come across some really good negative reviews that I can’t keep from laughing out loud or at least smile about, so I thought I would share a few of them with you too.  As the poet John Lydgate would say, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.


Kent’s review on Goodreads of Douglas E Richards’ Wired.  Maybe there is a little secret about Niels Bohr that we don’t know about.

the smart pills reminded me of LSD. when the author tries to explain quantum theory in 4 pages of epilogue it’s a lot like LSD.

Wikimedia Common
My dear Albert, I think there is something in those cookies of yours, because it appears that your hair is starting to show wave-like properties.                                       Wikimedia Common

Rory from Goodreads had a problem with Ramez Naam’s writing style in his novel Crux.

What is it with his metaphors? Many just lack words that he expects the reader to fill in.

“Layers of rage and grief peeled off him like an onion.”

Yeah, all those onions I constantly need to peel off of myself. And how often do body parts surge, or muscles groan (have you ever heard a muscle groan)?


An Odd 1 from Goodreads gave James Rollins’ 6th extinction a poor rating.  Those darn evil cute cuddly dogs.

I like the medium print easier read, not modern trend to hip hop around viewpoints, date time stamps. I got young lads mixed up who are dear to their girls’ hearts Josh and Jason. One gets amputation, other gets ??. I’m confused. Always the cute cuddly (large) dog is supposed to be dear to us. I dislike tearjerker manipulation.

Smiling_Dog_Face
Rover The Manipulator- Wikimedia Common (Photo8.com)

Fred from Goodreads gave Douglas E. Richards’ Wired a two star rating.  Don’t you just hate it when a book forces you to read it until the end.

The author spoon-feeds you the entire story, and then “tries” to throw in a plot twist, then completely nerfballs the happiest of happy endings.

Utter dreck.

Two stars because it did keep me reading, goddammit.


Jon S from Amazon gave Douglas Richards’ novel Wired a one star rating.  Did you actually read the book?

Watch out, if you want to read this across your various Kindle-enabled devices (or share w/ family members’ Kindles) this book is limited to two at a time. May not bother most folks, but if you jump around and read your books across Kindle, phone, PC, Web etc. you will run into this limit.

I can’t find it listed anywhere in the product information, this should be spelled out clearly for the consumer if it’s not the standard 6 concurrent devices.

Sure, it’s only $1, but the fact that this title drove me to call Customer Care and figure out why it wouldn’t load earns it a 1-star review.


Lila from Amazon left this review of Douglas E. Richards’ novel Wired.

When I started reading “Wired”, I thought, “this is going to be good.” After just a few pages, one of the main characters used the “F” word. After only 3 more pages, it happened again. That’s a no-no to me! Too bad, because I think the story would have been a good one! I returned the book to the Prime lending library after reading only a few pages. I’m glad I didn’t waste any money buying it! I wish you could let the author, Douglas E. Richards, know he is losing readers by using bad language. It is totally unnecessary to a story line. Because of using the “F” word in this novel, I will not be reading any more of his books and certainly cannot recommend this book to any one!

soap
Mr. Richards – you know what this means! source: Wikipedia

Paper or Kindle “I live to read!” on Amazon reviewed Tess Gerritsen’s novel Die Again and gave it a so-so rating. Personally I think the “missing bus stop” novel deserves a 5 star rating.

This isn’t the best book in the series, but it was gripping enough to make me miss my bus stop because I was so wrapped up in it.

bus stop
Dagnabbit! Another thriller does it again.   Wikimedia Common

Fellow Book Blogger Laissez Faire sent me this Amazon review of Jane Auel’s The Land of Painted Caves.

Your book is some 700 pages long. I mean, OK, it makes it easier to fantasise about using it to bludgeon the characters to death for criminal idiocy once we reach Part 3, but your book only has maybe 100 pages worth of actual plot, so I’m kind of left wondering if you actually had an editor for this thing, and if so, whether they’re now spending their unemployment check on hard liquor to help drown the shame.


If you come across any interesting bad reviews on thrillers let me know and I can add it to the list. 

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